Remind me again, who is charge here?

Not me. Right now there are so many things that have me torn. These things hurt.

And I want so bad to try and fix them. It feels like if they don't get fixed its my fault, like its my responsibility alone to "fix" the issues that are bringing me pain right now.

This pain is not a pain coming from me, but through for those I love. It almost feels worse that way though, because if it were me i wouldn't feel so helpless in my actions.

Then there is Him. He reminds me that i'm not calling the shots. That He will work all things for the good of those who love Him. That includes all things. I only need to be obedient and pray.

I had never thought of pleading with my Father for solutions before. I would always feel that it was my job to make things right or make them work, but its not. its my job to trust and obey God. He will take care of things in His own time.

I still have a deep pain for my friends, it stings like few things do. But I remember peace when God reminds me to pray and to give control over to Him.

Its so much easier to bare this burden.

I love You, and you.